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Joke of the Day

"I used to have a phone with a really good user interface... ...but someone swiped it."

"Why did the airport luggage checker refuse to date the depressed man? he had to much baggage"

"I got accused yesterday of ""plagiarism!!!"" Their words, not mine."

"Oral contraceptive I recently had an experience with oral contraceptives. I asked a woman if she would like have sex with me. She said, ""No""."

"I bought a toilet brush at the store the other day but it kind of hurts so I think I'll go back to paper!"

"What kinda vegetables like to party? Lettuce turnip da beet!"

"From what I've seen 3d printers print more than d d d."

"Why does a blonde wear green lipstick? Because red means Stop."

"Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries."

"Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?"