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Joke of the Day

"Now that Fall is here, do you think all the teenage girls with duck-faces will fly South for the winter?"

"[job interview] ""Under skill it says nicknames?"" ""You know it Sex Dragon."" ""Sex Dragon wants to know when you can start?"""

"Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster."

"Onion is not the only thing that makes you cry! My friend thinks he is smart. He told me that an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face and he began to cry. haha"

"When someone walks into a room, I like to tap the person next to me and in a loud stage whisper say ""Is that who you were telling me about?"""

"Thought of this while making dinner Want to hear a joke about location? Nevermind. You had to be there"

"I didn't flan on getting divorced and now my wife wants custardy and she's pudding our kids in the middle :("

"Why does Donald Trump take women out on his yacht? Because of the implication."

"I saw an alarming stat the other day. Apparently 25% of women are taking medication for some sort of mental illness . . . That means that 75% of women are walking around unmedicated!"

"What do you call a gay keyboard layout? Qweerty"