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Joke of the Day

"What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing? They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation."

"""Don't ask for my opinion then. I said congrats on the car, just saying nobody's panties are getting wet from a fucking Honda Accord."""

"What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong."

"this is a serious question if you have sex with a hoker and dont pay is it shoplifting"

"Whenever someone says smart phones are turning people into zombies, look up from your phone just long enough to bite them."

"How you doin' Jerusalem! ""WINE"" Here's a new tric- ""MAKE WINE"" Please, I've been working very hard on my routi- *dodges stone jars of water*"

"A Cuban just arrived on a raft... And is being interviewed when they ask him Name? ""Manolo"". Sex? ""Two to three times a week"" No,no i mean Male or Female? ""Well whatever I can get that week"""

"I just bought a bottle of Drano... Well that was $4 down the drain."

"Did you guys hear the one about the mascara and the lipstick? The relationship was alright, but the make-up sex was amazing."