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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sad suicidal bird? A Robin Williams."

"I went into a pesticide shop and asked the owner if he had anything for flies. Stupid idiot shat in my hand."

"Some people age like wine, others age like milk."

"When I lost my rifle the army charged me $85.That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Sometimes shit happens"

"I read a book on anti-gravity... I couldn't put it down."

"/r/Jokes just surpassed /r/AskReddit in users! I lie..."

"BEST PICK UP LINE: I wasn't looking at your boobs, I was staring into your heart...no, I lied , your boobs are awesome."

"Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Does. Not. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has.Asthma"

"Steak jokes. They're a rare medium well done."

"I set my Tinder location to Flint, Michigan. Those girls are probably hella thirsty..."