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Joke of the Day

"Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle"

Next Joke
 
"He may have a nice car but I have a fast sleigh"
"Did you hear about the new iPhone? It's a six s (success)"
"I have decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money... I'm sorry, but I've moved on, and maybe it's time that you do too."
"Why did the TV execs decide not to create a new reality show about philosophers? Because it would only be for a Neitzsche audience"
"I tried dating a stenographer but she wasn't my type"
"What US city has the dirtiest waffles? San Diego"
"Why was the toilet paper in East Germany so harshly? So every asshole would turn red."
"Did you hear the tragic news about Robin Williams? He's considering a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel."
"I was sitting in traffic the other day got run over."