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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute? Rooster goes CockaDOODLEDOOO!! Prostitute goes AnyCOCKLEDOOO!! (Such an old joke maybe some of these young redditors have never heard it ;)"

"Today, my girlfriend said she's dumping me for some geometric drawings Figures."

"Sweaters aren't the only garment named after a gross bodily function... There's wind breakers, too"

"[Hires Skywriter] I DON'T OVERREACT"

"""What's better than a happy smiling baby?"" ""Personal freedom and disposable income?"" ""You make it really hard to talk to you sometimes."""

"Boobs are like Christmas trees... ...it doesn't matter if they are real or fake, as long as they look good."

"Just saw The Imitation Game & it was FILLED with historical inaccuracies about World War II. They don't even mention Captain America at all."

"My car starts to hydroplane. I let go & whisper, ""Do it. Become the plane you've always dreamed of. I love you."" *Soft kiss*"

"My girlfriend asked me to act like an animal in bed. So I peed on the pillow."

"What I said: I forgot my book. What the teacher heard: I hate school, I hate you & I don't want to make something out of my life."