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Joke of the Day

"I know I sound like a broken record but tomorrow I'll sound like a misfiring engine and, next week, continuous loud television static."

"Have you heard about the new pirate movie? All the producers have Hook Noses #racistdadjoke"

"[first day as homicide detective] Cop: any signs of forced entry? Me: yeah, a bullet somehow forced its way through his face & into his head"

"Why is Diego's slogan ""Go Diego Go"" It was the last thing his mother said before she got shot by the border patrol"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh"

"(UK) Did you hear about the new brand of shampoo for pikeys? Go 'n' Wash"

"What is the best way to break a shield apart? Seth Rollins with a chair"

"There should be an option on travel websites that let's you search for ""flights that are least likely to have noisy children""."

"What is the dairy farmer's favorite exercise? Calf Raises."

"Punctuation is the difference between ""Love trumps hate""... and ""Love Trump's hate."""