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Joke of the Day

"how can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts to fit your wife's clothes. Yes, I know this isn't OC. Nothing on reddit is."

"want a brand new identity when you go back to school? why not change your name to 'Bird Christmas' or 'Crisp Terdass'"

"What's the difference between Wisconsin women and Iowa trash? At least the Iowa trash gets taking out once a week."

"What's the preferred beer of Dogme 95? Natural Light."

"I used to be a circumcist. The pay was shit but I got to keep the tips"

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A-flat minor"

"Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy."

"What do you get when you throw a grenade in a French kitchen? Linoleum Blownapart"

"Just watched a pirated movie On a scale of 1-10, I'd give it a 3.14"

"I'm finally going to do something about my alcoholism I'm going to pour out all the booze in my house. One shot at a time."