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Joke of the Day

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran wrap? Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

"Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong"

"The doctor told me I only had 2 years to live so I shot him The judge gave me 30 years."

"Who got only one visitor his entire life, got banished from the family and still lurks around with hope? Pluto."

"I like my coffe like I like my slaves Free."

"Two men were in a courtroom... One was charged for eating battery acid, the other was charged of sticking fireworks up his ass The court charged one, and let the other off"

"A Chicago priest is offering a $5,000 reward to help stop gun violence. Meanwhile, people with guns just found out about a priest who has $5,000."

"What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce patch? Seizure Salad"

"What's black on the outside and white on the inside? Whitney Houston's nose"

"My doctor just told me I have Parkinson's... ...I'm pretty shaken up about it."