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Joke of the Day

"When I get Cheeto dust on my fingers I use it to draw warpaint on my face. I am serious as fuck about my Cheetos."

"An excaped convict fell out of a polishing machine and landed on a worker. He was struck by a smooth criminal."

"Did you hear about the most recent FIFA scandal? Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records."

"How does R.Kelly end a joke? Ba dum *piss*"

"Are you a romantic man? Yes. When my wife comes home late, I turn on the candles, let the place fill up with nice and warm water and throw in some soap. So she can immediately start doing the dishes."

"What do you call a malady effecting reproduction in turtles? A reptile dysfunction"

"Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW"

"I broke up with my girlfriend, Ruth.. Now her friends call me ruthless. EDIT: Got hacked. Password and emailed changed, this post was changed to something else for a brief period by the hacker."

"Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts to."

"What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper."