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Joke of the Day

"The neighbors yard smells like weed. I'm glad those seeds I threw over the fence are starting to grow."

"Someone just tweeted something vague that made me think a celeb had died so I googled ""dead."" No dice! Thank god---hang in there, celebs!"

"How is it called when you get a blowjob from Oliver Queen? arrow head"

"Why does a space rock taste better than an Earth rock? Because it's meteor"

"How are women like rocks? You skip the flat ones."

"Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear"

"Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? A: It matches their mustaches."

"It was definitely Adam and Steve - what kind of straight man hangs out in a garden??"

"What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden."

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay.. they'd be bagels!"