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Joke of the Day

"What did the Duracell Bunny get arrested for? Assault and battery"

"What is the Pope's favorite type of woman? Nun"

"How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fruit salad."

"Sometimes I get down on my knees and pray for a pigeon to fly directly into my mouth"

"[talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man"

"My parent's kitchen was designed with 11 light switches, all of which turn on the garbage disposal if you're trying to be quiet"

"Why do they only put expiration DATES on food? It'd be fun as hell if they gave us the exact time too. ""We got 8 minutes to eat this ham!!!"""

"Why don't pirates ever have girlfriends? Because all the women they know are hookers."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide suddenly? He lost the war.and he did Nazi that coming.."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill with a dollar and a quarter Jill came down with $2.50"