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Joke of the Day

"[talking to bouncer] Me:let me in Bouncer: not after last time Me:would a Washington convince you? Bouncer: no George Washington: c'mon man"

"If I worked for the tribune... ... do you think I'd make the papers?"

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets."

"My wife said ""vase"" wrong so I corrected her and now we know that it can just barely fit over my head."

"What do you call a gas station that sells crabs? A crustacean."

"What's the best part about child molestation jokes? You don't understand it until you're older!"

"If Facebook has proved ANYTHING, it's that the love of your life is someone you've never actually met."

"Whats white and salty? Salt."

"How do you tell the sex of an ant? Put it in a bucket of water. If it sinks you have a girl ant but if it floats you have a buoyant."

"Year: 2020 Cause of death: iPhone 10 Plus fell on his head."