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Joke of the Day

"Excited to pick up ""Anxiety Birds"" tomorrow. It's like ""Angry Birds,"" but Jewish."

"Noticed lots of older people reading the bible. It's like they are cramming for their final exam."

"So many mixed messages in the media. Titanic tells us ""never let go."" Frozen says ""let it go."" Smdh"

"I'm working on organizing a circlejerk. It's coming together."

"The only acceptable man buns... ...are the buns men are born with below the waist. #datass"

"When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle."

"The past, present and future walk in to a bar... It was tense."

"I tweeted to Steve Harvey tonight that he was still my favorite all-time host of Family Feud; but two and a half minutes later I tweeted again to tell him it is actually Richard Dawson"

"I hate how every single day my ex wife just keeps waking up!"

"I had some extra money laying around I was going to invest in quick sand... ...but the deal fell through."