137142

Joke of the Day

"When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle."

"""Tell me"" said the hiker to the local farmer ""will this pathway take me to the main road?"" ""No sir"" replied the farmer ""you'll have to go by yourself!"""

"Thank God Wolverine isn't italian..."

"KFC now offering the Top Kill sandwich! Bacon. Cheese. Mud. Sandwiched between two oily chicken slabs served on a plate of shame"

"Why don't black people get on cruise ships. They already fell for that once."

"What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get"

"did Darwin predict butterflies would then evolve into tattoos?"

"The other day I saw a short man carrying an LED tv and I asked "" hey do you help carrying that tv?"" And he replied all pissed off ""Fuck off dude, this is my tablet"""

"i just dropped my phone without the case on it and i can't tell what hit the ground faster my phone or my tears"

"I went to the store to buy 50ft of rope. The guy at the store said ""This spool of rope is on clearance for only $2. It's 500ft long."" ""Nah man"" I said ""I hate long good buys."""