104811

Joke of the Day

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? Because his wife died. Also; what is Forest Gump's password? 1Forest1"

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"

"What does violent diarrhoea and a bar fight have in common? Blood on your stool"

"I'm going camping this weekend with a bunch of models. It's going to be pretty in tents."

"Jesus Christ excrement unearthed in Isreal.... ""Well, Holy Shit!"""

"I used to be indecisive... ...but now I'm not so sure."

"twitter has a very ""high school class where the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes"" vibe"

"What did Sting say to his proctologist? Don't stand so close to me."

"Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?"

"Three old deaf men on a train in London Deaf man number one says 'IS THIS WEMBLEY?' The second man replies 'NO IT'S THURSDAY.' and the third man replies 'ME TO. LETS GET OFF AND HAVE A PINT'"