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Joke of the Day

"Invitations: $10 Cupcakes: $15 Facility rental: $100 Not having 20 kids in my house: priceless Math of a mother"

"If you don't react when the Dr. hits your knee with the mallet, the Hippocratic Oath says he has to kill you with a shotgun right then."

"The Doctor stuck a finger in my bum... For a prostate exam. He said ""All's fine."" I said ""Stick another finger in there, please."" He asked ""why?"" I said ""I want a second opinion."""

"To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office... I will find you. You have my Word."

"Coffee so hot you pretend not to notice it when you're out with your wife."

"ELI5: Why do i suck at posting in the right sub?"

"Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard."

"I tried to sign up to a website yesterday. I put in the password 'beefstew' But it said the password wasn't stroganoff."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Picasso Barbie ...everything's in the wrong place"

"How many South American's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A Brazilian."