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Joke of the Day

"Invitations: $10 Cupcakes: $15 Facility rental: $100 Not having 20 kids in my house: priceless Math of a mother"

"""Moo."" - hipster sheep"

"A joke I made up when I was high: Why is it good to know someone who kicks ducks in the face? Because they're always footing the bill."

"*wife comes home* ""Did you fix the toilet?"" Yep! [she opens door & is hit by avalanche of plums] ""You called the plummer again you idiot!!!"""

"Me: I'll have a Dr.Pepper. Waiter: Is Mr.Pibb ok? Me: Is he a doctor?"

"What do you call cheese that's not yours? Colby Jack's."

"Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes."

"So Kim Jong Un helps a little girl's starving family Oops I put the punchline in the title"

"What do gay horses eat? Horse Dick"

"Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party But they failed because nobody knew how to planet"