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Joke of the Day

"[Car dealership] Me: *taps glove box* How 'bout this one? Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold."

"[Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent's jacket] Terrorist: FBI? Agent: uhhh Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector"

"What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large."

"I bet people who see Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich freak out over latte art."

"why was 6 mad when 7 won her a stuffed elephant? because 7 1 1 4 9 2"

"[NSFW] I like to wait outside hospitals Because I like my MILFs fresh."

"Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?"

"No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a sword"

"Woman: When my husband died... ...his dying wish was to be liquidised into perfume. Friend: It's so sad that he's gone. Woman: Well he's still here in essence."

"What did one ghost say to the other ghost? ""Do you believe in life before death?"""