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Joke of the Day

"Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I'm a dream."

"What if Daft Punk is just a couple of rad old ladies who met in knitting club and shared a love of sick beats?"

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket.... ...She then exclaims some arsehole has my pen"

"If y is dependent upon x, that means y is determined by x. So we could call y the determinant. If that's true, then we can call x Arnold... because it's de-terminator. Heh."

"Rohypnol......."

"What sound does a pinewood derby car make when you rev it? Wooooooden Woooooooden Woooooden!"

"If you tell your girlfriend you think the girl at in the corner shop fancies you, you'll never have to pop out to get bread and milk again"

"I used to love The Village People until they came at me with torches. -Gay Frankenstein"

"The most potent strain of marijuana has just been released to the public reports say consumption has reached an all-time high"

"One day the bass player hid one of the drummer's sticks. The drummer said ""finally! After being a drummer for so long now I am a conductor!"""