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Joke of the Day
"What smells like pork? Kermits finger"
Next Joke
"Why do mountains make people laugh? Because they're hill-areas!"
"Remember to keep the 'inmate' in 'intimate' by getting married."
"There are two kinds of woman who never complain. GIFs and JPGs"
"My wife wants to have another kid. That's like seeing light at the end of a tunnel and saying, ""I think we better turn around."""
"I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children."
"I was going to cover my bathroom floor with dead baby skin... My wife told be that would be infant tile."
"When my grandad was 75 he started walking 5 miles a day. He's 80 now and no one knows where the hell he is!"
"Dad owl: I'm dying so I need you to look after things. I'm going to give you- Son owl: Don't say it Dad: Power of a tawny Son: [turns head]"
"Is that ChapStick in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"