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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your sister is on her period Your dads cock tastes funny."

"In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth."

"People say I'm a plagiarist Their word, not mine"

"My body looks as if it were chiseled from marble I'm not muscular whatsoever I'm just really white."

"Why can't Edward leave Russia this winter? He'll be Snowden."

"Just found out there is a whole series on Netflix about this year's election results. Orange is the new black."

"I can't stand those 'happy ending' massage parlors Those places just rub me the wrong way"

"I've created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It's so strong... It'll get you stoned to death."

"Kinky and Perverted What is the difference between perverted?? Kinky is when you tickle your lovers ass with a feather ... perverted is when you use the whole chicken!"

"At first, I hated my new haircut but it's grown on me."