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Joke of the Day

"You know, I really didn't like my new haircut... But then it grew on me."

"TV sitcom idea: Wacky copy editor who yells ""nailed it!"" even when he didn't, also he's alone as mankind was obliterated by a viral pandemic"

"What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back..."

"I don't always roll a joint... But when I do, it's my ankle."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it."

"5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys."

"Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC? because it's stoned."

"I spent 69 years making memes in a musty dungeon. They were pretty dank."

"I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel."

"Why don't owls make love in the rain? Because it's too wet to woo."