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Joke of the Day

"Confucius say Man high on sex use cherry picker"

"Somebody told me this really good joke the other day. You shoulda been there, it was hilarious."

"What does the president of Russia call his toilet? Vladimir's Poo Tin"

"Facebook should have a I Don't Give a Shit option next to the Also Block iRL option next to the Would u Like to Send a Nuclear Bomb option."

"My ex is such a loser that if there was a competition for the world's biggest loser, he'd still only win 2nd place."

"What's the big deal? Gay people could always get married. Just not to each other."

"Why didn't Jarred order the meatball sub? Because he didn't like the size of the meatballs."

"Anyone still keeping up with their New Year's resolutions? I am... Still 1080p"

"Why was the umbilical cord sad? He got cut from the naval base."

"North Korea has lowered its missile back down after pointing it up for a few hours. Turns out Viagra and MSG make for bad rocket fuel."