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Joke of the Day

"Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left."

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"How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house."
"Me: Boss our sales are really going updog. Boss: You mean up? Me: No, updog. Boss: What's updog? Me: Not our sales. We're bankrupt."
"Why is it OK for an ice company to commit fraud? Because their assets are already frozen."
"""Sit down. I've got some bad news."" (Every Milkman's boss 30 years ago)"
"I can't wait for the season finale of... ...America."
"What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church? Nun is better!"
"two men walk into a bar... the other one ducks"
"Do you have FB? No Do you have Twitter? No Instagram? No What do you have? A life. ... ... Can I have it? No. I need it to play Candy Crush."
"Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?"