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Joke of the Day
"Anybody want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's cheesy."
Next Joke
 
"Can't afford Sea World, so I took my kid to a fish market. Me: 'Shhh, they're asleep' 'Mom, they're breaded' Me: 'That's their blankie'"
"What's a camel's favourite song? Bat Out of Camell"
"I hate when people say ""you always want what you don't have"" like that's really insightful and not just explaining the definition of ""want."""
"Why did Michael Bay jump off a bridge? Cause Tony Scott did it first."
"I know two wrongs don't make a right, obviously. But how many does it take? I'm like on 756."
"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."
"Q: Why did the IRS recently audit Bill Clinton? A: Because he filed as head of the household."
"My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here."
"What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier."