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Joke of the Day
"Why was the fish swimming backwards? It didn't want to get water in its eyes."
Next Joke
"Blah blah blah employee handbook, just get to the point where you say if you're gonna drug test me or not"
"Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym."
"If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon."
"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! ... I'll show my way out"
"After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F."
"My decorating style is calculated placement of sentimental things around the house, so after I die, my husband can't get laid."
"What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a pool table"
"Don't panic if your parachute doesn't open! You have the rest of your life to fix it!"
"""You take pills because you're crazy"" ""No MOM, I take pills because they make me tolerant of crazy people that don't take pills"""