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Joke of the Day

"Don't panic if your parachute doesn't open! You have the rest of your life to fix it!"

"These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross."

"I went to a nice Cuban restaurant last night, I say restaurant but it was more of a Castro pub."

"how do I tell my boss I don't want to do work anymore but still want money"

"What's the difference between you and Bear Grylls? You'd get fired if you drank piss at work."

"Do know who the ultimate CrossFitter was? Jesus."

"What do you call Billy Mays when he says something stupid? An OxyMoron!"

"What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ? The scum of the earth !"

"What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? # # # # # In A Bomb Blast Population Decrease.. * But. . * In A Condom Blast Population Increase..!"

"What did the left nut say to the right nut? That guy above us is a real dick"