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Joke of the Day
"Director: so, you'll be playing this regular guy... Johnny Depp: no thanks."
Next Joke
"How do you communicate with a fish? You drop him a line."
"My wife told me she wanted to go somewhere she's never been before. I told her to try the kitchen."
"I like my coffee how I like my women.... Ground up and in the freezer. Edit - happy Halloween!"
"Dear little baby Jesus, If I got what I deserved, it'd be bad. But my daddy deserves the best. Please send him a handsome son-in-law. Amen"
"When the guy at the liquor store offered to throw in some ketchup packets, I automatically said yes. Still not sure why."
"Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped? Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!"
"What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg? ""'Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."""
"Apathy, lethargy, stationary. Words to live by."
"Apple and Puma have developed smart track pants, they're called iPumaPants."