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Joke of the Day

"Reporter: To what do you attribute your old age? Old Man: To the fact that I was born in 1890."

"Box wine? I prefer the term Cardboardeaux."

"Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don't they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?"

"Hopefully ""researching tweets"" will hold up in a court of law when the prosecution presents my google search history as evidence."

"Remember when AOL was the shit? Then it sucked. Myspace was the shit. Then sucked. Facebook was the shit. Then sucked. Twitter is the shit!"

"What do you get when you have seven dragon balls? Nothing! This is real life."

"I'm good at telling dad jokes Hi good at telling dad jokes, I'm dad."

"What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda? Battle Royale with cheese."

"How can you teach your child about adversity if you don't leave a diaper unchanged once in a while?"

"*accidentally answers phone call* *pretends to be answering machine*"