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Joke of the Day

"So I was dating a girl who had a lazy eye It would have worked out, but it turns out she was seeing someone on the side"

"What's the Islamist term for acceptable internet humor? Ha-lol."

"my phone keeps capitalizing my lols like i'm some kind of suburban mom with highlights and bedazzled jeans."

"Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months."

"*rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!"

"I am still at a loss over Hillary Clinton's defeat and I emailed my consolations to her, but never got a response Do I need to call FBI to look into it"

"""...and then she farted and I swear her butt plug shot across the room like a rocket! That's the last time we have Taco Bell."""

"I'm not racist. Some of my best friends are white such as Joey, Phoebe and Rachel. And I can't forget Chandler."

"Pros and cons of guys: Con: They're dicks. Pro: Their dicks."

"Did you hear about my time machine? I sold it next week"