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Joke of the Day
"What is a hipster's favorite candy? Rolos."
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"[NSFW] How do you mount your virtual girlfriend? With a hard drive bae."
"I like my beer like I like my violence... Domestic"
"How do you know when... ... a blonde has been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen. How do you know when a brunette used the computer after a blonde? There's writing on the white-out."
"Starting a cover band called ""A Book"" so no one can judge us."
"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."
"A black guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim are all working on a roof together. One falls off and dies. Which one? who cares..."
"How many people from Brazil does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A Brazilian!"
"Thanks for wishing me a Happy Monday, you've changed my entire outlook. I don't hate Monday anymore. I hate you. Happy New Sworn Enemy."
"Two wind turbines in a field and one says to the other ""Do you like music?"" He replies ""I'm a big metal fan."""