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Joke of the Day
"Numerators can recover the fastest from break-ups. They're always over it."
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"What is a mouse's favourite game ? Hide and squeak !"
"Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable."
"Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."""
"Before Twitter, I'd ignore dumb thoughts in my head like ""How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?"" Now, I tweet them"
"Do you know what the arch enemies of skinheads are? Blackheads."
"Sam: Welcome to Multiple Personality Club. Sam: No one else is here. Sam: You're here. Sam: I'M YOU, STUPID! Sam: OK EVERYONE CALM DOWN!"
"How I knew my GF was playing with herself on her period... I caught her red-handed."
"Why do police ask to see your drinking license when they pull you over, but they call it a driver license like your bartender does before you can drink?"
"I always wondered why cross eyed people never get hit crossing the road. Then it hit me. They are always looking both ways."