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Joke of the Day

"""What is your greatest strength""? Brevity."

"War: what is it good for? Resource acquisition, eliminating your enemies, blowing stuff up, feeling like a big man. So, lots actually."

"When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me."

"Why don't anarchists accept the metric system? They refuse to have liters."

"Co-worker: What's the difference between astronomy & astrology? Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points."

"What do Lifesavers do that a man can't? Come in eight flavors."

"Yet another tragedy struck the music world today. Police responded from a call to a California hotel room occupied by Justin Beiber. When they arrived on the scene, he was still alive."

"If Ebenezer Scrooge were a sheep, what kind of hat would he wear? A Baa-Homburg!"

"ople who say they'd go back and change things in their life if they could are pussies, you don't get this awesome without the shitty parts"

"Why did the tomato blush red? Because it saw salad dressing! :D Just like I saw your mom dressing Cause she's a skank Come at me, Reddit. Come at me"