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Joke of the Day
"Oh so you like metal? Name three blacksmiths Will, Jaden and Willow"
Next Joke
"*PLOT TWIST* Breaking Bad last ep. Walt takes off the mask to reveal he was Dwayne Johnson The world finally knows what the Rock was cookin"
"How much does a corpse weigh? A skele-ton"
"A box of Cadbury creme eggs just propositioned me. Now we're in a van together."
"H: Gross! Stop peeing in the shower! Me: Why? Everybody pees in the shower. H: Yeah but you're not in it right now, I am."
"Believe everything your tv tells you (sponges can talk, turtles eat pizza, love is real)"
"Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks."
"I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I've no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I'll need a drink as I wait for a ride."
"Girlfriend My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, 'Alright, fatty.'"
"How do you get 50 old ladies to yell ""fuck""? Have one old lady yell ""bingo"""