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Joke of the Day

"""Knock Knock."" ""Who's there?"" ""It's the Police, sir."" ""You'll have to wait, I'm having a shit."" ""We know, Sir, the Phone Box has glass sides!"""

"Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle? He was a lion."

"My body looks as if it were chiseled from marble I'm not muscular whatsoever I'm just really white."

"There was a kidnapping at my school last week... don't worry they woke him up."

"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee you racist bastard."

"Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Because he was out standing in his field"

"Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint; the phone rings,and he jumps up shouting: ""Oh Shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"""

"A man goes to visit the doctor Man: Did the test results come back? Doc: Yes, and the prognosis isn't good. Man: Well how long do I have? Doc: About 10. Man: 10 what? Years? Months? Doc: 8... 7...."

"What do you call a car made out of Canadian money? A CADillac."

"SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC 4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY 5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT 6. PRAISE AND HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS"