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Joke of the Day

"Police officer to a driver: ""OK, driver's license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle."" Driver: ""Nah, I've already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain's cap?"""

"My friend asked if I would stop singing Maroon 5 songs. I said: ""I don't think so."""

"A wildebeast walks into a speed dating meetup.. he meets some good gnus and some bad gnus."

"I used to be a banker... But I lost interest in the job"

"Muffins are just cupcakes that will never get laid."

"""Why are you studying your Easter candy?"" ""I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"""

"I just read a book on Stockholm Syndrome... At first it was pretty bad, but by the end I kinda liked it."

"What do the titanic and Madelaine McCann have in common? They're both at the bottom of the ocean and full of seamen"

"Why don't you ever eat a girl out in the morning? Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese?"

"Why did the lesbian cross the road? To get to the other bride! *Congrats, America!*"