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Joke of the Day

"My first workout back at the gym was great... I did 15 mins of cardio, 10 mins on the defibrillator, and then 3 days in the hospital."

"That Awkward Moment when you find something hilarious, but nobody else does."

"I've known my drug dealer since I was this high."

"I put my pants on just like everyone else in your mom's bedroom in the morning"

"Ceilings were just ambitious walls."

"2 sheep are standing in a meadow... One turns to the other and says ""Baaa-aaa-aaa-aaaa"". the other looks at him and says ""...I was just gonna say that."""

"A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder."

"What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew."

"Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together."

"After years of working in a hospital, I've become a bit of a germaphobe. I just do NOT believe that Bacteria should have the right to get married."