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Joke of the Day

"You know you have problems when you mentally click a ""like"" button every time you see something that pleases you.."

"Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female... The female egg says ""Oh my, look, I've got a crack"" ""No good telling me"" replies the male egg, ""I'm not even hard yet"""

"My mom told me to only say sorry if I've killed someone sorry mom"

"Somewhere there's a sheep named LL Wool J. & that's what keeps me going you guys."

"Today is the best day to propose to your girl... If she accept, its your luck! If not, tell her its April fools!"

"I am a big fan of Canadian bacon... ...but I have yet to find out how they turn Americans into cheese."

"""You're a ten?"" ""On the PH scale, Cuz you basic."""

"If you murder a dude and feel guilty just tell his family ""sorry"" and if they can't get over it after that then who are the monsters really"

"The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda."

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."