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Joke of the Day

"The guy who wrote the book ""everybody poops""... ...should write Number 2"

"""Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo"" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired."

"When do computers go to sleep? When it's internight."

"Someone asked me why my name isn't on the cover of my book. I explained that it's a practice of humility. ""Ahh, so why then is your name on the title page?"" ""I'm not that humble!"""

"My gf broke up with me. She thinks that I am childish... So, I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away."

"(Not a joke) The Aristocrats I'm sure all of you had different forms or variations of The Aristocrats, but what's the best one you guys have heard?"

"What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies? There's no million dollar car in my garage."

"What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"Why did Hugh Glass go to the doctor? Because he felt grizzly after months of unbearable pain."

"That bitch... Two necrophiliacs were chatting on the phone. One says to the other,""So how's the girlfriend?"" He replies, ""Eh, the rottin cunt split on me last night."""