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Joke of the Day

"Why did Hugh Glass go to the doctor? Because he felt grizzly after months of unbearable pain."

"Things that are better left unsaid 1. 2. 3."

"Where can you leave your dog when you shop? The barking lot."

"When I retire I plan to study oceanography. (I'll eat like a shark, drink like a fish and lay on the beach like a whale)"

"next year big pixar movie for kids: follow the journey of a single tear down an old womans face as she learns her grandson died in a fire"

"I know it's normal to be naked in front of your doctor, but I still get really self-conscious every time I go to the optometrist"

"Which band does feminists hate the most? Cis-tem of a Down"

"My wife has disappeared... She's been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So I went down to Goodwill and got all her clothes back."

"What do you do with spoiled fish food? Load it in the chum dumpster."

"Every Canadian child goes to sleep with a plush toy of the current Prime Minister to keep them safe. Justin Trudeau was elected because Stephen Harper was scaring the children."