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Joke of the Day

"I was helping Mom with the computer and now she thinks I'm racist... All I told her to do was push ""ALT + """

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, eventually we had to take his bike away"

"Do you know what the worst part of being paralyzed is? I can't stand being in a wheelchair."

"Someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"Q: What kind of bees produce milk? A: Boobies"

"Why don't people tell many jokes about the reverend Jim Jones? The punchline is too long."

"Me *about to get hit by a bus* OH SHIT I'M NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER"

"What kind of musical instrument do mice play ? A mouse organ !"

"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"

"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""