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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the earthquake? There was a fault in Washington. It was Obama's!"

"What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through."

"What did one bridge say to another? ""Fuck you"" (They were arch enemies)"

"How can you tell if you're texting with a dyslexic pervert? You get this: ===D==8="

"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They keep stealing the green cards."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Baron ! Baron who ? Baron mind who you're talking to !"

"I know this is the kind of thing everyone avoids talking about, but I'm going to say it. I think I'm smarter than most, if not all, babies."

"I try to explain to my kids during the movie that in reality, even a cowardly lion would eat a girl and a little dog."

"What's got 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog."

"Me: Why am I still single? Brain: You're weird as shit. Body:You're fat. Face:You're pretty ugly. Food: Don't worry babe, I'm here for you."