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Joke of the Day

"How many cops does it take to arrest a broken light bulb? Two. One arrests the room for being black. The other arrests the bulb for being broke."

"That awkward moment when it's not actually awkward, but just sort of a general observation about everyday life."

"I have a sexual attraction and fetish for car races I just love getting off to a good start"

"Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup? Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper."

"how do you help gay psychopaths? With a straight jacket ."

"What do you call it when two cops dance? Pork Grinds"

"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face."

"A man boards a plane. An attractive flight attendant walks towards the man and asks: ""Would you like some headphones?"" The man replies: ""Yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"""

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? 0"

"I want to do an essay on chronology and hand it in late... ... so the professor can say ""it's about time!"""