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Joke of the Day
"My mother is displeased with me. In other shocking news, water is wet and the sun is bright."
Next Joke
"A guy goes to a five dollar lady of the night.. and he gets crabs. So, the next day he goes back to complain. And the woman says ""Hey. It was only five dollars. What did you expect? Lobster?"""
"A few women sit at a table quietly..."
"It's not fair for people to keep comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler was a decorated war hero and qualified leader."
"The hot blonde walked up to the bartender and asked for a double entendre... The bartender gave it to her."
"I used to be a necrophiliac... til the rotten cunt split on me"
"I used my rosary as a whip today... Call me Indiana Joan of Arc"
"Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry."
"What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fisheyes"
"Analogies are like masturbation I'm finishing both right now."