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Joke of the Day

"I love jokes about South Africans... who doesn't like making fun of a bunch of murderers, rapists and thieves."

"What are filipinos horror stories? Crispy Pata"

"I had a nightmare that I was the Michelin man I woke up feeling tired from that one."

"Consider one of the most perplexing questions of our time: Where do' solutions go when a candidate gets elected?"

"Did you see saw? I saw Saw. You see Saw II? I saw Saw II too. Going to see Saw IV? I didn't see Saw III, what am I going to see Saw IV for?"

"[about to message girl he likes] Me: I should just talk to her like I would anyone else. Be myself. And not act stupid. Brain: OR"

"I like my women like I like my water Wet and slippery on the floor."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face"

"I lost a lot of teeth eating candy at the wrong time of day. Just as her husband got home."

"Goodnight honey. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" The stork flies them in. ""Why's it take 9 months?"" Wind resistance. Go to sleep."