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Joke of the Day

"I was the kid your mom made you invite to your birthday party who then started crying and had to be picked up early."

"A Thought About Posthumous Autobiographies They're all ghost-written."

"Where do graphic designers go for a drink? CGI Friday's"

"Asked a hen how many eggs it lays daily? It said: two eggs I said: Oh strange! It said: what's strange? the fact that I lay two eggs? I said: no, the fact that you talk"

"Whats the most dyslectic part of Asia? Croatia!"

"What's the definition of a mere myth? A pirate ship thailing clothe to an itheberg"

"My fish makes so much noise during the night that I wake up six times a night to ask him if we are fighting"

"My girlfriend is getting bored of my obsession with pretending to be a detective, she's suggested we should split up. It's a good idea, we'll cover more ground that way."

"Why can't astronauts listen to music? The beat can't drop in outer space."

"I've got washboard abs. As soon as I can find someone with clay-jug abs and someone with jews-harp abs, we can get started on our old-timey-hobo-band abs."