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Joke of the Day

"What do soybeans call their mother? Edamame."

"""I'm so wet!"" she screamed at me. ""I'm so fucking wet!"" she screamed at the top of her lungs. ""Give it to me, now!"" She could yell all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"What do you call it when Superman craps his pants? Undy-terd."

"Pregnant women go through a ""nesting"" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed."

"My sex life is like a Ferrari.. I don't have a Ferrari"

"What's the difference between a toilet and a sink? Titanic didn't toilet."

"Why did the hick move to a toxic waste dump after winning the lottery? They heard it was a Superfund site."

"Recipes sound good until you realize that you don't have $846 worth of spices in your house."

"I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it's called ""Don't buy shit you can't afford!"""

"What do eggs do for fun? They crack jokes."