22457

Joke of the Day

"Hey, I'm a girl. I ignore nice guys, chase douche bags, and then complain about it"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choir boy!"

"I went to the zoo this past weekend. The only animal they had was a dog... it was a shih tzu."

"Last night my wife said to me, ""What would you do without me?"" Apparently, ""Your sister"" was the wrong answer."

"Q: Who burped at the big bad wolf? A: Little Rude Riding Hood!"

"I guess it's time to face the reality that I just do not want to rock and roll all night. Nor do I wish to party eva-ree day."

"Why isn't there a neutron mod in the Skyrim Steam Workshop? Because there'd be no charge."

"What do you call nudes from the 90s hot mail"

"Kim Kardashian compared getting through her divorce was like beating cancer. Except cancer is real. She should compare her stupidity to it."

"[mom unloads groceries] if there's one thing i love, besides my wild little rascals, it's subscribing to twenty different online tv services"