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Joke of the Day

"Turning vegan is a big missed steak."

"I've been listening to Pink Floyd for the past 2 hours. I'm about to just go ahead and skip to track 2."

"What Do You Call A 7 Second Minecraft Video? VINECRAFT DO IT FOR THE MINE XD"

"Friend: You thinking what I'm thinking? Me: It's bullshit there weren't schools from other continents in the Triwizard Tournament? F: ...."

"One time I called my teacher ""mom"" and she looked so confused and said ""I'm not your mom."" It made the rest of homeschooling really awkward."

"On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with 'unsubscribe'"

"Why do they never serve a beer at math party? Because you can't drink and derive"

"Best part of cleaning the apartment is putting new magazines on the coffee table so you can look cultured for the guests you don't have over"

"What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict? One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back."

"For their honeymoon, Mr. Sine and his missus Cosine Went to the beach and got a Tan. When they went back home, it took a Sec to find they needed a Cot."