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Joke of the Day

"Children are like AIDS They are sexually transmitted, incurable till death and they fuck up your sex lives."

"What's the difference between very large building and pigeon? just one 's'. One is skyscraper and the other one is skycraper."

"You know you're getting old when A fart throws out your back"

"I went as a congressional bill for Halloween.... I stayed in the House and didn't do anything."

"I sometimes feel like the Angel on my shoulder is on vacation & the Devil invited his cousin over for a play date"

"I asked Jesus what he did before he died He said ""Not much. I was just getting hammered and hanging out all day."""

"I don't really like to exercise. To get my heart rate up, I hand my phone to someone else to borrow while I leave the room for 5 minutes."

"My dick is like the movie Birth of a Nation its long, epic and black people dont like it."

"What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic? Plenty of coat hangers."

"She's Smart! ""You are so kind, funny and beautiful."" ""Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed."" ""And smart, too!"""